Imagine you come to the Services page on a website. It offers only two options on the otherwise white page:
$10,000 Conversation
$100 Conversation
There is no description for either conversation. Which do you choose?
“What’s the difference between the $10,000 Conversation and the $100 Conversation?” you may be asking.
After scrolling down to the very bottom of the page, you find this:
The difference between the $10,000 Conversation and the $100 Conversation:
The $10,000 Conversation includes everything in the $100 Conversation – but with better listening.
Which Conversation Would You Choose?
The above is a made up scenario, but the point it makes is real.
The deeper the listening, within both coach and client, the more valuable the conversation becomes. This is listening not only to the words of the other person with your ears, but listening for wisdom with your whole being.
Some months back, I did a $10,000 Conversation Experiment in which I had 10 conversations with the intention of discovering just what would happen if each conversation had a value of $10k (even though I didn’t charge nearly that much.)
Here’s what I learned about creating money and cool shit from that experiment.
#1 – $10,000 value is entirely made up.
Every person I spoke to had a different idea about the value of a $10,000 conversation.
For one, it was about literal monetary value. “If you give me an idea for making $10,000 a month in my coaching business, that’s worth the price tag.”
For another, $10,000 of value was found in getting themselves to show up consistently in business. “If this conversation gets me to take actions and stick with it, I know that’s worth at least $10k.”
Still another found value in deep insight. “Seeing that my stories are made up and don’t need to hold me back, that’s worth way more than $10,000.”
I didn’t find two people who had the same idea of what that value would mean in their lives. In fact, some of them changed the value they placed on our experimental conversation within a matter of minutes!
When you know the value of $10,000 is made up by your thoughts, you’re no longer trapped by any perceived limitations on what you can do or create.
#2 – It’s no more difficult to make $10,000 than it is to make $100 – we just think it is.
Monetary value is relative, too. The idea of spending $1,000 on a t-shirt might be outrageous, but becomes trivial in comparison to dropping $1.5 million on a house.
When I first started talking with startup entrepreneurs about $20 million dollar projects, the idea of raising that much money for a venture made my head spin. But after a while it became so normal that a $1.5 million venture seemed like a cake walk.
So while there are clearly different actions necessary to create different amounts of money, the difficulty in terms of your experience is 100% created by how hard or easy you think it is.
The reason the Richard Bransons and Donald Trumps of the world aren’t phased at the prospect of pitching multi-million dollar deals is that it simply doesn’t look like a big deal to them. Yet when I was a kid, asking my dad to buy me a $100 dress seemed impossibly excessive.
The difficulty is never caused by the price tag; it’s in the story we make up about it.
#3 – Quantum leaps are inevitable in the game of creation, but you have to show up and take action to discover them.
When you’re creating anything – a business, a work of art, a book – at some point you’ll develop momentum, the coveted experience where your project takes on a life of its own and it’s harder to stop moving than it is to keep going.
But in order to discover momentum, you have to stay in the game by taking actions over a period of time. At some point, your project goes from one unit of input = one unit of output to one unit of input = 100 units of output. Through one small action, a whole series of results unfold that create a quantum leap in terms of results for your project.
The fact that this happens is 100% reliable, but when it happens is unpredictable. If you stay in the game long enough, it will happen.
#4 – The secret to keeping yourself in the game of business is knowing you’re okay no matter what happens.
So if staying in the game long enough is really all it takes to make progress in your business, how come we don’t do it more?
Well, we encounter challenges and with them, we often experience fear, doubt or overwhelm. When we have these unpleasant thoughts, we don’t feel okay. Feelings of unsafety and uncertainty may arise, and we stop because it feels too dangerous to continue.
All of these experiences are normal in the game of creation. We feel our thinking, and when it’s discouraging, we feel discouraged.
But knowing that you’re okay no matter what happens, no matter how you feel, no matter how much money is in your bank account, makes it easier to stay in the game of creation. You can play the game to win, knowing that you’re completely okay if you lose.
That’s why exploring the true source of your inner safety is such a big part of my coaching conversations with clients. The more you’re grounded in a sense of inner okayness, the better you feel, no matter what happens. This not only creates a more satisfying life experience, you’ll also take more actions in business and get better results.
#5 – If you want to make more money, multiply your impact by involving more people.
When it’s just you working with a single person, the impact extends to one person and the value it creates in their life.
But when you work with teams or collaborate with other people, the impact multiplies. And if those individuals or groups are each creating impact with a larger group of people, the impact created becomes exponential.
This seems obvious to me now, and maybe it does to you, but last year I realized that a simple way to create more value and money was to work with teams of people on larger projects. DOH! It simply hadn’t occurred to me how much more impact can be created with the multiplier of other people.
So if you’re looking to create more money in your life, explore ways to expand your impact to more people, or to individuals who are creating greater impact. The difference you make will have greater value to them and they’re likely to pay more for it.
#6 – ANY conversation has $10k value when we show up present, open and experiencing the richness of what is.
Admittedly, this insight is a very personal one. But my experience is that when I really show up in a conversation with presence, the beauty and richness of what I discover is absolutely priceless.
When I add to that presence in the conversation a dash of intention (just a dash, not so much that it creates expectation) the value expands in the intended direction. So if we’re exploring what’s true about making money, for instance, and we show up with presence and listening, we encounter insights of immense practical value.
#7 – You can’t give $10,000 of value without receiving it.
I had most of my $10k conversations at no charge. On the surface, it looked like the value experienced belonged entirely to my conversational partner.
But true giving is also receiving. You can’t truly create $10,000 worth of value without also receiving it. The value happens in both directions.
What I explored in these conversations was in service of the other, but the insights we experienced belonged to us both. I learned a lot about value, money and creation…and it may even have contributed to actual money in my bank account. (See more in #10 below.)
#8 – “Money issues” don’t exist…but money thinking sure does!
Ah! This is such a sticky one for so many people, myself included.
My $10,000 conversations inevitably brought up thoughts about money. Thoughts like:
Money is dirty.
I can’t help people AND make money at the same time.
Who am I to charge this much?
Experts make hundreds of thousands of dollars selling programs to “get rid of your money blocks.” (Oh, the irony!)
But what I’m seeing is that “money issues” don’t actually exist, at least not the way most of us think of them. They aren’t limiting beliefs that have somehow embedded themselves into your psyche like schrapnel. Each “money issue” is a thought, and like any other thought, it comes and goes. Sometimes when those “money issue” thoughts look real and important, we put a lot of our attention on them and it feels like worry and anxiety.
But in no way do you have physical “money issues” in your body that we can remove. Seeing that your stories about money are just as made up as the bedtime stories we tell our kids has HUGE value in terms of creating value for yourself and others.
#9 – A $16 million conversation is the same as a $10k conversation…with even better listening?
Okay, this one is almost a repeat of my opening story, but I really wanted to share this with you.
One of my conversational partners wasn’t satisfied having a $10,000 conversation; she upgraded it to a $16 million conversation.
Frankly, the idea scared the crap out of me. How was I going to deliver that kind of value in a single conversation?
We explored what it means to create wealth from the grounding of your own inner wealth, rather than trying to get it from outside, and how in order to create the feeling we want to experience through having money, we must go to the source of that abundance within.
Lest this sound like a Law of Attraction tactic, let me assure you that it’s not a tactic at all. Rather, it’s understanding that having money cannot create any feeling. Only your thoughts can do that.
When you tap into the source of the feeling you desire (freedom, safety, abundance) within you, creating money or anything else from that experience is joyful and fun. The money is the icing on the cake because you already have what you’re after.
I’m not sure if this particular conversation was worthy of a $16 million price tag, but both of us came out of it inspired by possibilities in a way we’d never considered before.
#10 – $10,000 conversations actually create money!
I can’t take credit for any of the amazing accomplishments of my conversational partners and clients. They take the actions and get the results themselves.
But I will tell you that after these conversations, one person booked a sales call with a high-end client and a potential pay off with multiple zeros. Another created new offers inspired by our conversation and made $600. As for me, I booked an $11,100 client during this experiment through interactions completely unrelated to these conversations.
So do these conversations directly create money? It’s hard to say. But there does seem to be a correlation.
How to Create Your Own $10,000 Conversation
If you like the idea of this $10,000 Conversations Experiment, I highly encourage you to run your own experiment.
You might do it with a friend. Simply set an intention to have a $10,000 conversation and discover what that means to you. See what comes up. Notice what occurs to you as a result.
Or…
Contact me! I’d love to have a $10,000 conversation (or any other inspiring chat) about creating your life and business.
Yours in love and play,
Steph
