Last month, someone contacted me about possibly hiring me as a coach.
Hooray! Always happy for an unexpected opportunity to create a client.
We set an appointment to explore what we might create together (aka an “enrollment conversation,” in many coaching circles) after the holidays had passed.
When the time of our appointment came, this prospective client showed up frazzled and distracted. We started talking and I asked what was going on.
“I have a workshop tonight and I thought I’d have more time, but I’m not ready.”
I asked if they would like to set that aside for now and have our conversation, or if they would prefer to reschedule.
“Rescheduling would be great! I’m feeling so much pressure right now that I can’t focus.”
So we rescheduled.
I have two minds about this. (Not literally, but it feels like it.)
Little Mind says something like this:
We set an appointment, and they’re not mentally present. The least they could do was tell me beforehand so they’re not wasting my time! Grrrrrrr.
Quiet Mind has a much softer take. It says:
This is their choice. Why would I want them to have our conversation when they don’t want to?
A few minutes later, I’d accepted the change in my afternoon plans, feeling grateful for the unexpected space opened up by our rescheduled appointment.
Fast forward to the day of our rescheduled appointment.
Two hours before I get an email from the potential client, apologizing and asking for a raincheck to deal with family drama.
Now I’m genuinely pissed.
The voice of Little Mind is louder.
Okay, now they’re taking advantage of me because I was nice the first time. How dare they cancel on me AGAIN!
I could really use this money from a new client! At this rate, our conversation will never happen…
I kind of know not to take Little Mind seriously, but I still feel the heat of frustration.
I send a quick reply to let them know I got the email. They’ll send me some alternate dates and times later on, because they still want to meet.
Yeah, right. Little Mind chimes in.
I let some time pass before replying to the email that comes a few hours later with some new dates because I’m still feeling irritated.
Why was I pissed off?
Little Mind gives me a list of reasons:
a) They should follow through on their commitments when they schedule an appointment.
b) They’re jerking me around with this whole rescheduling thing.
c) It’s not okay for them to be so flaky!
Little Mind is feeling lots of emotions about it: frustration, anger, and underneath the lingering fear of missing out on money (which it’s not saying out loud, but I can feel.)
Little Mind insists that this person is what’s pissing me off.
But Quiet Mind knows better.
Quiet Mind knows there is only one reason why I ever feel pissed off.
I’m giving my attention to the thoughts so urgently articulated by Little Mind, and those thoughts have the feeling of “pissed off.”
There’s only one thing keeping me from the peace available in this moment: a thought that feels like something else.
I honestly don’t get that worked up about people missing appointments or rescheduling them. I’ve added a bit of drama to my story for entertainment value. 😉
In my real-time experience, I feel all of these things, but they move through very quickly. It looks more like:
Frustration – Irritation – Fear – Uncertainty – Acceptance – Peace
I know that it’s okay for me to feel the emotions created by what’s happening in Little Mind. I was designed to feel all the feels.
I also understand (with a big hat tip to Byron Katie and George and Linda Pransky) that when I need other people to be different than they’re being, it hurts.
When I accept this person as they are now, without needing anything to be different, it always feels better. And it’s easier to know my part in creating a preferred outcome.
Little Mind likes to blame.
Quiet Mind lives in peace.
The more I see this, the more quickly I ignore the rants of Little Mind and settle into the nourishing stillness of Quiet Mind.
Of course, I’ll feel frustrated again, probably sooner rather than later. But how long I stay there is entirely up to me.
Now I’ll attempt a (clumsy?) transition into an invitation to join me for the REFLECT experience starting in only a few days.
If you’re feeling confused, overwhelmed or agitated about the direction of your life and what you’d like to create, REFLECT: Rediscover Joyful Direction, Focus and Ease will help you get out of the noise of your Little Mind and listen to the wise direction of your Quiet Mind.
Here are five benefits you’ll experience from REFLECT:
#1 – It gives you the space to focus on the Non-Urgent but Important things in life. The things you SAY you’re going to sit down and think about before you get distracted by the urgent demands of your daily tasks. You’ll actually do it.
#2 – You’ll get clarity about questions such as:
What do you really want? What’s working and what isn’t? What course can you set to create your desires without busting your butt?
#3 – You’ll get inspired for a new chapter. The space of appreciation and dreaming allows your natural inspiration to emerge with the energy to roll up your sleeves and get joyfully to work.
#4 – Stay on track, even if you think you have a “focus problem.” You’re always focusing on something, and this program will reveal what that is and how to shift it to better serve your creation.
#5 – Fall more deeply in love with your life, business and the journey of creating it. We’ll explore where to find enjoyment in anything, and as that enjoyment deepens, falling in love is inevitable.
That’s what’s on offer for you, my friend. (With or without REFLECT, but I do hope you join us.)
Right now, you get REFLECT included with your IMPACT membership. Or you can pay more to buy the stand-alone course. Check it out here:
