A while back I invited a coach to a friendly chat. I’d met Viv at a transformational event and she seemed real, insightful and had a razor sharp wit.
What Viv didn’t know was she was on my shortlist of Coaches I’d Love to Hire.
So when I asked the question, “How do you work with people?” what I was really saying was, “I’m interested in hiring you. Tell me more.”
Instead of sharing her offerings, Viv gave her philosophical view of coaching. I never got to hear about how she works with people, what she charges and most importantly, how might be able to help me.
In all fairness, my inquiry was indirect. But my guess is that Viv missed it because she associated “selling” with being pushy.
I actually felt disappointed that she didn’t give me a chance to buy from her.
I was ready to explore working together, and she missed her shot.
Let me contrast this with another encounter.
Bob was a coach I’d met in a networking group. I didn’t know him well and after we exchanged a few messages, he invited me to a chat. He had the stench of agenda about him, but I agreed to meet on zoom anyway.
At our meeting, he didn’t waste much time.
“I watched your podcast and Spirit gave me a message for you. Would you like to hear it?”
My real answer was a full-body no, but curiosity got the better of me, and I agreed.
Bob shared that my interaction with my podcast guests was condescending and lacking in power, but he could see my potential. Would I be interested in hiring him as a coach?
I was stunned by his audacity. First, he offers criticism I didn’t ask for and then he makes a sales pitch? As if!
Both conversations were friendly chats where I was the potential client. What can we learn from this?
No one likes to be sold, but everyone wants to have their needs met.
Bob was clearly “selling” to me in the most stereotypically icky way possible. He was uninvited, pushy and pretentious. No one enjoys that kind of interaction.
But in my conversation with Viv, I was actually interested in learning what was on offer, only I felt too shy to ask directly. I actually wanted Viv to “sell” me on her services because I was interested in learning how she could help me.
Many coaches are so afraid of being “Pushy Bob” that they end as “Reluctant Viv.”
But if you don’t want to be an obnoxious salesperson, the solution is easy: don’t be an obnoxious salesperson. If you’re the kind of person who worries about being pushy, that’s not an issue – selling your services honestly and boldly is.
I’ve grown fond of Michael Neill’s definition of sales:
“Selling is finding out what people already actually want, and helping them get it.”
Selling isn’t convincing, persuading or manipulating. It’s a discovery process where the client/customer gets clear on what they want, you tell them what you can do, and both of you discover whether or not it’s a match.
Selling this way is a valuable service.
When you hold back or hesitate (like Viv did) both of you lose.
In our IMPACT membership this May, we’ll explore transforming resistance to selling and into joyful service.
Our work-and-play-shop, How to Turn Connected Conversations Into Clients will guide you to:
- Discover how natural and valuable it can be to ask for (and receive money) for your powerful service.
- Learn my two-step “system” for creating clients without social media.
- We’ll also embark on a Quest to practice these insights in real-world scenarios.
IMPACT members gain instant access to “GROW: Discover Your Natural, Effortless Path to Clients,” complementing our May focus.
Join us in redefining selling as a form of service. 💖
https://www.theawakenedbusiness.com/impactinvite
Yours in love and play,
Steph
