Henry is not quite two years old.
His mother holds two jars of baby food in her hands.
“You want kale sweet potato? Or beets and spinach?”
Henry looks at his mother, then at the orange jar and the purple jar. He takes both into his chubby arms.
“You can’t have both, Henry! One at a time.”
I know exactly how he feels.
***
Two paths have been presenting themselves in my life for some time now, and I keep choosing them both.
Path #1 – The creation and teaching of soul aligned marketing, potent messaging and brand story.
Shall I create a spiritual marketing agency to serve creative entrepreneurs with authenticity?
Path #2 – Wild Creation Experiments and Storytelling Transformation sessions, tapping into infinite possibilities and playing things into creation.
Shall I create a retreat experience and a new modality of transformation around fun and play?
Like Henry, I’ve been grasping them both at once, then putting one down and picking up the other.
I’ve been making myself wrong for vacillating between these choices.
Because I have to choose one, don’t I? Don’t I?
I think now that I have not been asking the most powerful question. Instead of, “Which should I choose to do?”
What if I ask, “What would I choose to BE?”
This is what I’ve been hiding from for over a year.
I’ve been pretending that I’d like to be a world-class transformational coach and a spiritual marketer, so that I didn’t have to admit what I really, really, really desire.
If you could be anything, what would you be?
And I know the answer. I’ve always known.
I express it playfully, “I want to be the love child of Michael Neill, Alan Watts and Neil Gaimon.”
I want to be a spiritual teacher.
A spiritual guru.
There. I said it.
I’ve been fighting this for so long!
It conjures up stories of men (and women) in robes manipulating their followers, abusing their power, pretending at being the incarnation of God.
I’ve let the labels and definitions and history of abuse stop me from acknowledging what I desire.
Truth:
I want to embody the energy of awakening people to the beauty and perfection they truly be, so they can create themselves with wild abandon.
One of the most popular literal translations of guru is dispeller of darkness.
What is my way of being a spiritual guru?
I would be the non-guru who points back to what you are and asks questions that invite you to possibilities you’d never dreamed were possible.
Who encourages you to know what you know…and insists this is something no one can ever know for you.
Who urges you to notice what you see as truth.
Who inspires you to look and look again.
Until you awaken to how amazing you are.
Until you know that there is nothing you need to do and nothing you need to change.
And from there…what games of creation we will play!
***
Ack.
I didn’t plan on sharing this when I started writing. What’s gotten into me? 🙂
***
If I am willing to let myself be what I am and desire what I truly desire…
If I am willing to let you see me and judge me and label me (because that’s what people do)…
If I am willing to trust myself — even when I’m wrong…
Then I am choosing me.
The path becomes clear and everything I do may serve the authenticity of what I be.
***
What would you choose to be, truly?
What are you afraid to choose?
What if you did choose it?
Yours in creative play,
Steph
P.S. Discovering the essence of what you are and what you’d like to create is one of my most favorite games to play!
If this sounds intriguing…let’s have a Wild Creation session and see what happens next. Here’s the link to apply: https://theawakenedbusiness.com/activation-call
