Who are YOU to share your message?
Have you ever wondered if you’re actually qualified to share your message with the world?
“Who am I to do this?” seems to be a question that comes up for a lot of us.
I have a better question, echoing the famous Marianne Williamson quote:
Who are you NOT to share?
“We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Marianne Williamson
(Don’t skim that quote, just because you may have heard it before. I urge you to take a moment and read this quote out loud. Give it a chance to sink in and touch you. Go ahead – give it a go. I’ll wait. )
You are uniquely qualified to share whatever is in your heart, simply because it’s there and you feel the desire to share it.
Now that we’ve got that out of the way…
All you need to share is the DESIRE to do so.
You don’t need qualifications or expertise. (You already have the gold in a lifetime’s worth of one-of–a-kind experiences to pull from.)
You don’t need a proven track record of results. (We’re interested in YOU, not your credentials.)
You don’t even need to know what to say, write or create. (The form and content will reveal itself in the process of sharing.)
All you need is the willingness to begin sharing and see what happens.
At the time of this writing, I’m at the beginning of a 100 Videos on YouTube Challenge I’ve given myself, and my intention is to do them all in 80 days.
Someone recently questioned my sanity in doing this. Surely I’m losing the attention (and comments!) of my viewers who can’t keep up with my new content.
What they don’t know is…
This challenge is for ME.
I learn so much from sharing! I get to discover the message that wants to come through me as I speak it.
The more I share, the more clear my message becomes.
Sometimes it’s messy in the beginning – in fact, I’ve come to count on that fact – but it comes alive as I share.
By the end of my challenge, I’ll know more about what I want to be sharing and how I’d like to share it specifically on YouTube, and the rhythm and style that’s perfect for right now.
The interaction, comments, feedback and views will be a bonus. (And those will inevitably happen, too.)
You don’t have to take on a crazy challenge like this, unless it’s inspiring for you.
My point is:
SHARE. Today.
Your message (and your audience) won’t really find you until you do.
The “secret ingredient” in a message that impacts people
I’ve been making videos and doing presentations for many years.
In fact, I was a wedding DJ for over 15 years, the “Mistress of Ceremonies” on the microphone throughout the wedding making announcements.
I was good. Articulate. Practiced. Energetic even.
But it wasn’t until I started reading the couple’s love stories that something really came ALIVE.
Why?
Because reading those love stories touched my heart, and when it did, you could hear and feel it in my voice.
It wasn’t about saying the words perfectly.
It was about feeling them as I said them.
Guests paid attention and it often moved people to tears.
When you come alive, it enlivens your message and people feel it.
Speak from your heart, and people listen.
Share something you’re authentically inspired to share, and people feel it.
When you drop out of your thinking and lose yourself in the message moving through you, people — your people – will be riveted.
“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ― Howard Thurman
It doesn’t always happen the first time, in fact, it usually takes most of us a little “stumbling and fumbling” before we find our voice…
…but it WILL happen.
Show up feeling alive and your message will come alive, too.
How to silence your inner critic
Back in 2020, I did the NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) Challenge and wrote 50,000 words in a month.
Watch this video to hear my story, “The Cure For Perfectionism”
The first three days were absolute hell.
I’d set myself a target of 1,667 words per day – aggressive, but not impossible – and it was taking me HOURS to finish.
I had a constant voice in my head saying things like:
This is stupid. No one’s going to read this. You’re a horrible writer.
Every sentence was AGONY.
I knew I’d never finish if it kept feeling so miserable.
So I took some advice from Anne Lamott, author of Bird by Bird:
“Almost all good writing begins with terrible first efforts. You need to start somewhere. Start by getting something—anything—down on paper. What I’ve learned to do when I sit down to work on a shitty first draft is to quiet the voices in my head.”
― Anne Lamott
So that’s what I did.
I didn’t set out to write the Best Novel Ever. Or even a Decent Story.
I gave myself permission to write a Shitty First Draft, and it set me FREE.
My job was simply to write. Anything. It could even be intentionally bad, completely breaking the rules, self-indulgent or ridiculous.
I was just. Writing.
And it worked!
It kicked my inner critic to the curb because it was supposed to be bad. (And I knew we could always come back and fix it later.)
Not only did I write over 50,000 words, I actually had fun in the process! My writing was wild and crazy and all over the place.
The surprising thing was that it wasn’t nearly as bad as my inner critic said.
In fact, some of the pieces were so surprisingly good that I wondered if it was me who had written them!
It helps to give yourself permission to write (or speak or create) a shitty message to get yourself going.
Once you do, you’re in the game of sharing, and the more you care about what you’re sharing the more you fall in love with doing it.
You will never be as shitty at sharing your message as you are today. 😂
I promise you’ll get better.
And even in your learning curve, there will be gems and nuggets of aliveness that will inspire you and those you share with.
So in case my message isn’t clear:
START SHARING NOW. One shitty sentence will do the trick. 💩💕
3 simple, natural ways to share your message
You know what makes sharing really hard?
Thinking about it.
Especially the kind of thinking we have about something that’s “really important.”
Thoughts with the feeling of judgement, self-doubt and overwhelm, or whatever particular flavor you have a habit of indulging.
Know what makes it easier?
Letting sharing be as simple as it actually is.
Sharing a message is natural.
You share your message every day, like when you tell your best friend a funny story about your trip to the store. Or when you pitch your partner to watch a movie.
Sharing your message is as simple as putting your arm around a friend and saying, “I love you.”
It comes from your heart and sharing it is natural.
The only thing that makes these types of sharing feel different than “Sharing Your Message” (notice the CAPS to indicate the importance) is all the heavy thinking you have about it.
So I’m going to give you a few exercises to help you rediscover the simplicity of sharing for yourself.
#1 – Ask a trusted friend, loved one or client what you’ve shared with them that’s made a difference.
Sit on your hands, keep your mouth shut, and let them tell you. They will reflect the message you’ve shared that’s been most impactful for them.
#2 – Think of a friend or acquaintance you care about who you’d love to help, and write them a letter (knowing you won’t deliver it.)
Write from your heart. Tell them what they need to know that would make the biggest difference.
When most people do this, they can’t help but share a powerful message.
#3 – Write down 3 words that represent the qualities that are most important for you in your life. (Examples: love, harmony, freedom) Then plug them into this sentence:
“I dream of a world where everyone knows (Word 1, Word 2 and Word 3.)”
There. You have a social media post, meme or image caption.
Go share it now for bonus points. 🥇
Are you beginning to see how easy and natural sharing really is?
Why you struggle to communicate your message
Once upon a time, there was a man with brilliant vision.
The possibilities he sees are a gift for the world that will relieve suffering and create beauty.
HIs vision is full of hope and empowerment, and oh, so much value.
But no one sees it.
It’s as if he speaks another language, and they do not understand.
The man thinks if only he had the right words to convince people, they would see. He should hire an expert to craft the perfect pitch.
While different words may help, there is something else that keeps his message from connecting.
FEAR.
He is – secretly or not so secretly – afraid of other people and their judgements of him.
He feels disconnected. Alone. Separate from those who cannot see as he does.
Fear blocks him from understanding others deeply enough to build a connection through his words.
Yet if he seeks to understand another simply to convince them of his vision, this is not a pure connection.
Only when he listens with an open heart and clear mind, can he begin to understand them.
And then, surprisingly, he finds in that connection that he no longer feels the need to be understood.
Connected, he knows he is never alone. He sees with the eyes of love, and knows what to do, if anything, to help them.
Convincing is no longer necessary. The natural fit will reveal itself, or if it does not, the two will part as friends, grateful for the connection.
“Marketing” is natural when you begin with connection.
Can you relate to this story?
If you want to connect with the heart of your message for creating change and reaching clients, you need to talk to people.
Too many entrepreneurs hide behind their laptop screens trying to figure out how to convince people to hire them, instead of having real conversations to get to know them and find out.
“Selling is finding out what people already actually want and helping them get it. (Preferably your product or service.)” – Michael Neill
Have conversations in real time.
Get to know people without an agenda.
You’ll naturally begin to understand not only what they already actually want, but what naturally occurs to you as a way to help them.
A listening conversation is the most direct path not only to a message that connects, but to a connection that creates clients.
It’s a connected conversation people actually want to have, not a “sales pitch.”
Talk to people. Get to know them.
Listen for what they actually want and help them get it.
It’s simple and actually helpful.
We explore more about discovering your message through natural conversations in the program, SHARE: Communicate Your Heart’s Message to Create Clients and Impact Without Convincing or Persuasion.
Your message was meant to be shared so you can create the difference you’re here to be. It’s my honor to support you in making it happen through inspiration and joy.
Yours in love and play,
Steph
