I came across an article in The Guardian today announcing the release of four Israeli hostages in a prisoner exchange between Israel and Hamas.
I don’t follow the news, especially war news, because thinking about the horrible things humans do to each other hurts my heart.
Why don’t they just stop fighting? It would be so easy to create peace.
Happiness, like peace and enjoyment, is available the second I drop out of thought and into the present moment.
I’ve been pondering what makes it easier for me to notice this ever-present happiness, and what makes it harder.
One trivial, daily thing that seems to make it harder: cleaning the dishes.
I habitually lose my experience of happiness when it comes to cleaning up.
My partner has very particular ideas about who should clean up and when it’s appropriate to do so. And let’s just say that I am less fastidious about these things. I’ll get to the dishes when I get to them, and it doesn’t bother me much.
Most of the time, I’m happy to accommodate his preferred state of cleanliness because I like clean dishes, too.
Except for when he doesn’t follow his own very clear Clean Up Commandments. Then, I start keeping score.
“How come you give me a hard time about not cleaning up, but you’re allowed to skip it?”
Getting pissed about “clean up hypocrisy” is one of my favorite little ways to miss out on happiness.
I see myself fighting my own little war, fueling it with my angry thoughts. Even though I can see that my warring thoughts are the only thing keeping me from happiness, I still don’t want to let it go.
When it really looks to me like I need to fight in order to keep myself from being hurt or damaged in some way, it makes perfect sense to keep fighting the war.
The question comes to me:
“Am I willing to lose my war in order to win peace?”
A part of me wants to keep fighting, and I wonder what it thinks I’m going to lose. A sense of pride? The chance to be “right?”
All I’m really losing by fighting is the chance to feel happy, which is what I started fighting for in the first place.
I think I finally understand why it can seem so impossible to stop fighting.
Now tears are running down my face.
Yes, I’m willing to put down my weapons and lose the war in my head to win peace in my heart.
What if ending war is as simple as a willingness to put peace first?
I have no idea what it will take for the war between countries and factions to end, and I’m not naive enough to think I have the answer for world peace.
But inner peace? My peace?
It’s clear as day. All I have to do is see that fighting the war hurts, and then fighting no longer makes sense.
You don’t need to teach behavior change to someone who SEES.
“The mind at war with itself does war with any other mind, and that produces war in the world – all of it.” – Byron Katie
Yours in love and play,
Steph
