Today it occurred to me to ask:
What if I was really myself showing up in this business and money game?
I saw or felt how I’d been holding back, and how that just doesn’t make any sense. Seems so obvious now.🤦
I think I’m going to continue the money game for at least the end of the month and really throw myself into it by just being myself however feels right. Now that this finally looks like a good idea. 😂
When the question occurred to me, I could feel the layers of thought that often cover up the “me” experience. Worrying about how my actions may be received, feelings of attachment, judgements of myself positive or negative. I can feel how unnecessary they are.
By contrast, being me feels simpler. “This is what I’m doing and where I’m going. Wanna come?”
No artifice. No trying. Just being.
It’s a question to live into and see.
That’s a description of how it feels. I’m not sure exactly what that looks like. I suspect it will look like many things, but it’s a different come from.
Linda Pransky spoke about the power of pure intention, which really affected me.
As she described it, pure intention is desire with nothing on it, and when that occurs, fulfillment is inevitable.
What I’ve noticed is that the less thinking I have, the more natural creating becomes. It’s serving, it’s playing, it’s giving. There is no need I’m trying to fill. It simply flows.
The conversations I have with people feel like pure intention. Sometimes they lead to clients, but often they don’t. It’s still beautiful because that’s not why I do it. I do it to connect and serve.
My sense is that creating without attachment would be more wild and joyful than what I often put out in the world. It would not be measured and restrained, but come from abundant overflow. I can feel the difference.
I had what seemed like a radical thought a couple weeks ago. “What if I quit trying to make money entirely?” I wondered what would happen. And then a money game shows up in my world. 😂
I don’t need to think about “making money” to be okay. We’re more well made than that. I’m going to go to the Money Store if I need money. No thinking or worrying is necessary.
Much like I don’t need to worry about the other practicalities of life to know what to do: breathing, digesting, shifting positions when my leg falls asleep.
I have so much unnecessary thinking! Even in considering examples, I see my attachments to food, sleep, these needs that are always met naturally without my needing to force them. I just do what needs to be done.
But ask my sweetie and he’ll tell you how much overthinking I sometimes do about food! I can be downright greedy about it. Yes, there was a time as a child when there was very little food in our house, but I was resourceful. I didn’t need to worry to find food, but man, did I ever worry! And feel shame and fear and greed. I didn’t know that it wasn’t necessary to take care of myself.
Let me be clear that I don’t think there’s anything wrong or lesser in wanting to create money. If that’s what you want, do it!
It’s falling in love with what you’re doing, losing your self consciousness, that is the reward in itself, whether or not it “works.”
It just happens that service, pure service, without any identity attachment, feels truly joyful. It’s natural.
It’s been slowly dawning on me that “money” isn’t what I’m really after. It’s not what I want, just what I think will get me there.
What I truly desire: generosity with myself and others, travel, the freedom to rest, delicious food, creating value in the world, play.
What if I go for what I really want instead of what I think will create it? That’s what I’m always encouraging others to do. 😅
And maybe I’ll create some money in the process of pursuing my true desires because it turns out to be helpful with them. Or maybe something else will arise to make all of that happen in ways I never could have predicted.
The world doesn’t need me to worry about it to keep spinning. I don’t need to think about taking care of my needs in order to meet them, any more than a tree or a bird does.
“When we focus on service rather than feathering our own nest, we will find our teaching more fulfilling and impactful. We have seen time and again that when our priority is being in service to humanity and being true to our own wisdom, the practical aspects of life inevitably fall into place; often in ways we couldn’t possibly have imagined.” – George Pransky & Elsie Spittle
This is great, thanks for sharing! It’s something I’m considering at the moment as well.
One of the few remaining areas of life where I get stuck in my head is ‘money’… and I noticed I was still trying to generate money goals in a contrived way in order to motivate myself, probably because I still partly feel that making more money will somehow give me experiences of security and self-worth, as well as the ability to provide for other people.
I also know that wherever I over-focus my attention on the end result is where I get messed up. I think that allowing the genuine intention to guide things is key… and then to get involved with actually doing things in reality. Or else resting with nothing to cope with or solve… but that in-between state of ‘contrived striving’ is starting to feel pretty disgusting now!
Hi, Paul! Sounds like you’re losing your taste for striving. Me, too. 🙂