So I’m looking at myself in the mirror and thinking:
What would it be like to love myself no matter how I show up?
What would it be like to wake up with myself each morning and celebrate what meets me, no matter what that might be?
And as I’m looking at myself and feeling…a sort of bland acknowledgment approaching kindness…
I think it’s hopeless.
I’ve never had an experience of completely accepting myself without any expectation.
I can always find a pimple or a wrinkle.
There’s something I’m still not doing well enough. (Like loving myself. Ha.)
My despair in this moment is confounded by knowing that if I don’t love and accept myself first, I won’t be able to fully receive this from someone else.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Now I am truly f*cked and I know it.
With tears in my eyes, I go outside to make the latest in my #30DaysofVideo series on Acceptance to reveal this devastating discovery.
And then, just as I’m lifting my phone to hit record…
It hits me.
Of course, I don’t have an experience of accepting myself completely…because I’m thinking about it.
But what about all those times when I’m NOT thinking?
When I’m being with myself, other people, other beings and simply BEING.
In those moments, I’m accepting myself.
I’m being in love with what is by simply being with it.
What if self-love and acceptance is happening all the time in the space between thinking?
It’s happening naturally.
Only it’s my obsessive engagement with thinking that keeps me from noticing it.
It’s so much EASIER seeing that this joyful way of being and acceptance is already happening naturally most of the time.
What if I can relax into it?
Oh, my goodness.
What if there really ISN’T anything for me to do…and I’m not just saying that?
I know how to love and accept myself completely.
This changes everything.
Everything.
Yours in creative play,
Steph
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