Is making a positive difference in the lives of others important to you?
When you show up authentic and present with a person you’d like to help, it’s a natural catalyst for lasting transformation, and leaves you energized instead of drained.
Catalyst (noun)
- a substance that changes the rate of a chemical reaction but is not used up in the reaction. especially: such a substance that speeds up a reaction or enables it to proceed under milder conditions.
- a person or event that quickly causes change or action.
If your life has been profoundly transformed by an insight or understanding, it’s natural that you’d want to share it with others.
Yet sharing our experience of transformation can leave us feeling inadequate by comparison to our mentors and teachers.
After all, who am I to share this when others can do it better? How can I help others when I’m still learning myself?
It can feel difficult to translate an insight into words, and figuring out how to turn it into “marketing” can seem an impossibly awkward endeavor.
And yet, the call to ease the journey for clients and loved ones, to somehow convey what you know will make the biggest difference for them, keeps urging you forward.
How to create lasting impact with clients and loved ones
What creates the deepest impact when you’re helping someone?
It’s not giving advice.
Advice can be helpful, but it’s seldom transformational.
It’s not convincing people to see what you’ve seen. The urgency behind convincing tends to push people away.
It’s not information. People are bombarded with it and can generate instant answers to their questions with an AI chatbot.
It comes from helping people see something new about the way that world works, so it’s like waking up in a new world where nothing has changed, but everything is different.
If waking people up sounds hard, the good news is that they already have what they’re looking for; our job is to get them to look in the right place.
Most people are looking outside of themselves for the right circumstances to feel better. Their health will turn around, their partner will stop being a jerk or the right politician will get elected into office.
But impact comes when people look within, in the space of a quiet mind, the origin of everything they’re looking for.
“If you want to help people, help them; if you want to change their life, show them a new world.” – Sydney Banks (paraphrased)
The best way to discover this impact is to try it on for yourself. The more deeply you see where impact comes from, the more you’ve been impacted by it, the more natural it will be to share with others.
Strange but true: create deeper impact by doing LESS
When I first started coaching, it felt hard.
After every conversation, I felt tired and drained. I limited myself to no more than three conversations a day, and even that felt like too much.
Talking with four people in a day left me completely exhausted.
I adapted my schedule to handle the strain. I’d coach on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays.
“No Meeting Wednesdays” were my mid-week reprieve, and by the end of day on Tuesday, I was desperate for a break!
Then three years ago, something shifted.
I’d taken an online coach training over the weekend in which we had a firsthand experience of “deep listening” or “quiet listening” and how powerful it is for creating impactful conversations.
The weekend itself was relaxing and left me with a nice feeling.
It wasn’t until the end of the next week that I realized “No Meeting Wednesday” had come and gone without my noticing.
How could this be? I always needed a break by Wednesday.
I tested another week and sure enough, I wasn’t tired by Wednesday. The conversations I was having suddenly weren’t exhausting me. In fact, I had more energy!
While I didn’t consciously change anything about the way I showed up, I had dropped the unnecessary tension in my conversations.
Without realizing it, I had been overthinking and “trying” to help.
Simply realizing from firsthand experience that deeper impact was available from a quiet space, the tension fell away.
These days, coaching usually feels like meditation; I’m relaxed and refreshed afterward.
In a world where we’re told that the key to better results is to work hard and push faster, doing less is heresy.
And yet, when we have less on our minds, when there’s less efforting involved, not only is our job as helper or guide more enjoyable, we’re better at it!
Sometimes we truly have no idea how much pressure we’re creating until we stop.
My First Big Insight
Before I was a transformative coach, I was a belief change expert trained in NLP.
We were taught to help people identify their limiting beliefs and get rid of them with various processes. So that’s what I did.
Because I wanted to be free from my own limiting beliefs, I used these processes on myself daily, along with EFT tapping and energy clearing.
I’d spend anywhere from fifteen minutes to an hour or more each morning running processes on my limiting beliefs and I had a document carefully tracking over 150 of the beliefs I’d “cleared.”
Results were mixed.
Occasionally, my limiting beliefs seemed to disappear, but often they’d come back. I figured I just hadn’t gone deep enough.
Then one day, I was at a Genius Catalyst event in California where I heard Michael Neill say:
“I have a thought, call it a ‘belief,’ and then I need a ‘process’ to get rid of it.”
I nearly spat out my water.
In that moment I saw that the “limiting beliefs” I’d been trying so hard to get rid of were thoughts, like any other.
Like all thoughts, beliefs are temporary. Without my doing anything, they will change because they always do.
I didn’t have to get rid of them.
That was the last day I used belief change strategies.
I didn’t make a conscious decision to stop; it just no longer made sense.
The impact of that single insight left a glow and a lightness that lasted for two months.
This is an example of effortless transformation.
Seeing something new about the world means the world just looks different, and a whole bunch of behaviors shift without even trying.
Many people have had an experience of this when they’ve struggled with something for years and then suddenly – they’re done with it.
No diets, no processes, no willpower necessary.
It’s not a fluke. We see something new and what once made sense no longer looks like a good idea.
While you can’t “give” someone an insight, you can set the stage for a powerful, transformative experience.
You’re invited to join me for an adventure in this deep, easeful impact – or to sink in deeper if you’ve already touched it – in this experience:
CATALYZE: Quiet Impact to Transform Lives and Create Lasting Change
Here’s my intention of what you’ll receive from this experience:
✅ Increased confidence in sharing what you’ve seen that will make the biggest difference for others.
✅ Greater relaxation, ease and increased energy in coaching, guiding or teaching others.
✅ The ability to deliver more effective results for your clients with less effort.
✅ An experience of deeper peace and clearer purpose in what you do to make a positive difference for others.
✅ Knowing that being your real, genuine self is more than enough in any situation and with anyone.
GO HERE TO LEARN MORE: https://theawakenedbusiness.com/catalyze
CATALYZE was created because I believe deepening our impact is the most powerful way to help others and create the change we wish to see in the world. It starts with us, right here.
Impact and lasting transformation can be easier and more satisfying than we’ve thought possible. I’m excited to meet you in the CATALYZE community!
Yours in love and play,
Steph
