I just completed a week in the San Fernando Valley outside Los Angeles with Michael Neill and my playmates in the Emerging Voices program.
We explored the nature of creativity in conversation, writing and speaking.
We laughed, cried and astounded ourselves with our creations.
The highlight was getting a feature on live Hay House Radio!
You can listen to the recording of the “Emerging Voices” episode till Friday here: https://www.michaelneill.org/radio/
It was magical.
I am embodying more of the relentless, intensity of aliveness that wants to come through me, and wondering…
What will the Universe create through me next?
Here’s one piece that came out of this week.
I hope that it speaks to your creative soul.
***
The Unquiet Surrender
At last, I have the words!
They are sleek, beautiful gazelles leaping over rolling hills through my mind while I am sleeping/not sleeping.
I clutch them to my chest.
But no. By the time I am awake enough to grab a pen, it is gone.
Damn. It was so perfect. I thought I had it this time.
But lo, when I pick up the pen something is there to meet me.
A midnight rendezvous with a lover. We fall into each other’s arms and it takes me in ways I have never been used before. I conform to its folds like a worn leather couch.
I say, yes. Use me.
And in the moment of speaking, I name my self. There is separation and it is lost again.
I am crushed, deflated, half the being I was when it moved inside me.
I could give up, but if I stay, the genie will visit me once again, I know.
Sometimes overwhelming. Sometimes delighting. Sometimes terrifying.
This is the unquiet surrender.
It is wrestling with the thought, hating it, resisting it. Fighting and fighting to mold and shape something that will not be sculpted because I am not its master.
It is leaning into the struggle and letting it take me, finding there a sweetness, then riding the waves in and out of flow.
As with the tides, I am out and back again. Drawing in as much as I can hold before each new dive.
It is the moment when I disappear completely.
There is only the magic moving through me, pouring out through my fingers onto the page, gracing my lips with golden words and a knowing that is not mine.
It is the dance between self and other.
Everything is sharper and cleaner, in this space of wild creation. It changes everything, though nothing has been changed.
It is as it has always been, both in struggle and surrender.
I am the plaything of the Universe, a kitten batting string…
…where I am kitten, string, the space in the air between them, the knowing and the forgetting, all of them at once…
…evaporating into one eternal now.
It is better when I know this.
It is best when I am so immersed in the game that I do not notice.
But it is always, always, good.
Yours in creative play,
Steph
P.S. If you’d like to discover your voice and the creation emerging through you, let’s have a virtual coffee and Wild Creation chat to see what’s beyond possible.
There’s so much waiting to be discovered, and I can’t wait to meet your brilliance there!
