Time is this game that we play. It’s a story we tell to make meaning of a string of moments, to make meaning of ourselves and to create a boundary by which we can know the world around us.
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There’s no problem in having this meaning-making machine of our minds, this capacity to create a story. A story is simply a sequence of events that happen in a particular order. It gives us arrival and departure. It gives us a sense of self and other, of things coming and going.
All time, the past and the future, are simply an experience moving through now-me. An experience moving through me now. Except as a thought-created experience, time doesn’t exist.
I just made a story of something and it felt like a horror story. Here’s what happened:
I see ten little ducklings, newborn, but big enough to run around. A duck who I think is father starts pecking at one of them, picking it up with violence, as if it was going to eat it. This is so distressing that I get up and interfere, walking close enough to the duck that it stops what it’s doing. The duckling is able to run back to its siblings and find safety.
I made up a story of death, of loss just now. I needed time to do that.
Every time I pull myself out of the moment of what is, I’m missing out on something. At the same time, the very experience I’m having is a part of what’s available. So it can’t be better or worse to be in or out of time.
And now I see a second group of eight ducklings following another duck across the street and onto the grass. All of them converge, following what must be the mother duck.
There’s something sacred about the moment outside of time. Everything drops away. Every thought drops away. All my worries over these little ducklings and whether they would have a parent that would harm them.
They’re all coming towards me, just a few feet away, these beautiful little ducklings with blue bills that have red at the tip. Little balls of fluff. Eighteen of them.
It’s a miracle in the moment just for me.
I love knowing myself outside of time. Knowing myself outside of space and matter, just for a second. It feels like nothing and nowhere, everything and always.
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